Saturday, 6 February 2016

A VNV (Very Naughty Valentine)

WARNING - don't read on if you are easily offended.

You're all still reading, aren't you? I thought so...... especially YOU! And YOU!!!

You've probably realised by now, I don't have a romantic bone in my body, and that means I have a real struggle with making Valentines cards, whether for personal use or for challenges. Yes, I can do the hearts and lace and flowers stuff, I have some pretty dies and stamps, but there's never really anything of me in them.

Anyway, I had this germ of an idea and had even bought a set of stamps, Cathie Shuttleworth's "DIY Bits" (which will also be handy for all the masculine cards I like to make) in anticipation of making something much less mushy than usual.  And seeing that the new challenge at Sisterhood of Snarky Stampers is K is for Kiss



and that at Naughty or Nice challenges (a challenge I have only just learned about - where have you been hiding all my life?) is See Red. with a double dare to get extra naughty, I decided the time had come.....

I stamped and embossed the drill and screwdriver to make a background, using red ink and clear EP.
Then I stamped the screw for the topper - can you see where this is leading? By this point, I'd decided it was go big or go home time, so I carefully positioned that screw at a nicely perky angle. Then I needed to add the word. Now I own no letter stamps or dies, and shiny peel offs didn't seem to be the way to go, then I remembered that I have a die to cut the phrase BEST WISHES  and the letters aren't joined up. So, I cut that and used my teeny tiniest scissors to trim one of the Es down to make an L. And because I'm a fully paid up member of the Grammar Police, there had to be an apostrophe so I used a tiny red gem. 

For the corners, I used my beloved screw-headed brads, making sure I chose all cross-head ones and positioning them so that the crosses in the heads form kisses.

Now I'm left with the letters BWISHS - I need a "B Swish" challenge to use them in!


See, I haven't actually said anything filthy, have I? If you're tittering now, it's your mind that's doing it! I could simply be using the card to suggest a trip to Ikea.....

21 comments:

  1. Well, well Jane. Of course I didn't know what to expect from the headline but that's fine, a fun little number. :)

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  2. I used to date a prison officer, he would appreciate this he he

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  3. I did wonder if the picture was one of you .. Looks like you .. Tee hee on the screw one

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  4. BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This. Is. BRILLIANT!!!!! Thanks for making me spit out my tea, and for joining us at the Sisterhood of Snarky Stampers!

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  5. It's great to have a naughty card to add to the collect for this month! I love it! Thanks so much for getting naughty with us at Naughty or Nice, Jo x

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  6. A brilliant card Jane, you have brightened up a really dull day!
    Pauline
    x

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  7. Love this! Thanks for sharing.

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  8. You Cheeky Girl Jane. I enjoyed reading and wondered where you were going with this. A great card. I LOVE it. Barbxx

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  9. Hee, hee, so clever! Creative Blessings, Tracy x

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  10. Winner winner chicken dinner....he he he he he he LOVE this Jane!!!
    I am with you, I can make kissy, touchy, feely romance cards, but it's a total fake lol
    Thanks for coming back to the sisterhood for K is for Kiss!!

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  11. ROTFLMAO!!!!! I'm particularly fond of the nice perky angle of the screw. Sort of makes me wanna. (Oh shit, did I just say that?) ;D xxD

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    Replies
    1. Hahahahaha - Donna !!!! Wash your mind out with soap !!!!! :-D

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  12. I already knew you were my kind of cardmaker... this just confirms it! This is perfect. And with your leftover letters, I imagine a card with a sentiment such as... Wish? BS! :P Thanks for joining the fun at the Sisterhood of Snarky Stampers, and for discovering my other home-away-from-home, Naughty or Nice Challenges!

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  13. Bwaahahahaha - excellent - made me chuckle :-D I saw this entered at the SoSS and had to come over for a looksee. I am sooooo with you on your feelings about valentines hahaha :-D

    IKE xx

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  14. Jane, you're making me blush! Awesome combining the "drilled" and "screwed." You just need a nail or two to add on there! Thanks for the great card and playing along with the Snarky Sisterhood's K is for Kiss challenge.

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  15. Yes, this is definitely a snarky card! You know what they always say, 'Laughter is the best medicine (or aphrodisiac)'.

    my Eunice is now gonna be really 'screwed'.

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  16. Great snarky card, love it!!! Thanks for playing along with the sisterhood of snarky stampers for K is for Kiss.

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  17. Of course, the first thing I thought you meant was "Let's take a trip to IKEA"! Actually, that card WOULD make the best comemrcial for IKEA, ever! Love it, love it! xxx

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  18. Great card, I am not a mushy person either..I struggle with lovey dovey cards. Thanks for joining us at SoSS

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